Eleanor Rigby's Blog

School-wise

• Response sheets on Faustus and The Country Wife
• Essay for BritLit I
• Essay for AmLit II
• 3 remaining assignments for Writing Skills I

• A job interview
• (Get a job)
• Get hair done
• Get accepted into the college of choice
• Develope as a runner (build some muscle, baby)
• Read more books
• Watch more movies
  

• Learn to love myself & life in general
• Learn new things
  
• Be happy!
  

My mouth is cracking at the side. It hurts. It hurts to eat because my mouth is small and needs a lot of stretching to fit food in it and when said food is sweet rolls and coffee I get greedy and stretch my mouth even more open that would be really necessary. So now the side of my mouth hurts and tastes like blood. I wonder why that is. My mouth doesn't usually have cracked corners. Strange times.

There is one upside to staying at my parents. I get pretty much the same treatment as my little sisters do, and as it just happens to be Easter, said treatment includes Easter eggs. Chocolaty goodness with useless but oh so colorful little trinkets inside. I like.

memory of summer

It's kind of sunny outside. A promise of spring in the air and all that. I like winter in small amounts but the darkness really gets to me. I become lethargic and bored and I never seem to have the energy to get anything done. I'm such a lazy bastard by nature that in combination with the winter darkness I'm really doomed. The best combination would be summer lightness and winter coldness. I bet that's what my heaven would be like. Just like my hell would be a combination of summer heat and winter dark.

I'm in love with my new Marilyn Monroe painting. Oh so pretty. I paid a massive amount of €5.90 for it and couldn't be happier. I still need a few posters to add to my walls, but I have yet to find the ones I want. On my list of posters to get are: James Dean, Elvis Presley and Audrey Hepburn. Preferably in black and white, thank you. 

I'm visiting my parents. Easter and all that. Most of my time here is spent sitting cross-legged on the guest room bed, typing away at my lap top or browsing seemingly unimportant sites. I'm simply killing time in wait of something better that I'm not even seeking. The room is quite bare and uninspiring. A bed, two tables (both of which have laptops upon them) and high cupboards for clothes. Some of them empty, some not. I don't really enjoy coming back here all that much. I'd come much more seldom if it was up to me alone. These visits break my routine and make returning so difficult. The familiarity of all this, and the way in which it throws me back into my years living under this roof. I once again become someone I used to be but am not anymore. Frustrates the hell out of me.

I should be spending this free time I have productively, completing unfinished assignments, starting the ones I have yet to even glance at. Instead I waste my time doing nothing, observing the passing of time with detachment. So what if I'm digging my own proverbial grave with this negligence? What of it? This is simply my education we're talking about here, my future. My future that will not lie upon the things I'm currently studying, that I'll make sure of. This isn't the right direction for me, but until I'm able to switch to a new one, this is what I'll have to endure. I should do what is expected of me, if for nothing else then for my continued financial support from the state in the future. But I simply can't bring myself to care about that either.

It's just life, right? It'll end up killing me anyway, sooner or later.